Finding Your “Tribe”: The Importance of Finding Your People

Okay, yes, I admit the whole tribe saying is quite annoying and even overused but there really is no better way to describe it sometimes. Lately, I have been really shown how IMPORTANT it is to find a group of people that are your support system. The people you go to for everything, who push you, challenge you, support you, are honest with you, and comfort you. The ones who do it all. 

When I started my blog I knew that some friendships might change because some people can’t comprehend not going with the “status quo” and choose judgement over support. I knew that I was going to have to cut some people out and I knew that it was going to make it easier for me to find my tribe. However, I know that sometimes it’s not easy to find them if you are in a phase of life where things are constant and a situation doesn’t bring on another’s actions. So, I wanted to compile a list that helps you reflect and determine, who is my tribe? Who doesn’t make the cut? Who should you be cutting out of your life because of their toxic tendencies? Don’t worry, I got you!! Keep reading to find out!!

1.How do they react when you tell them exciting news?

This one is one of the easiest ways to tell who is crucial to your circle. Sometimes jealousy can get the best of all of us and if someone tends to react that way often it can be a BUMMER. Sometimes, when great things are happening in your life but someone else is going through a hurting period it can be hard to hear about other people’s successes. However, the real ones will completely push past that and be happy for you! So, watch out for that. If you notice every time you tell a friend exciting news and they immediately make you feel bad for it, GET OUT. It doesn’t mean you have to forever but at least for a period of time to help you grow and succeed. 

2.Who listens when you have a problem and genuinely responds? 

I think the best of people take their friend’s feelings seriously. If you call them and say, “Hey, this is going on and I am feeling this way about it. How do I proceed?” Some friends may say, “Aww that’s too bad sorry. Idk!” It can feel extremely generic. The people you want around you will give you a much more thoughtful answer like “That’s always really hard to go through! I’m sorry! But I think this is how you could get past the hurdle and if that doesn’t work maybe try this.” I’m not saying they have to send you a novel of a response because let’s face it we are all busy with our own stuff but it should be genuine and helpful. 

3.Who respects you even when you have conflicting values/views/perspectives?

I believe this has a lot to do with maturity levels as well but I think it also pairs well with a “tribe” worthy person. Respect is extremely important in any relationship. I experienced this a lot when it pertained to my virginity. It was important to me that I waited for the right person, no matter how long it took. Some friends didn’t necessarily agree with that which is completely okay and not everyone should believe that! BUT if a friend made fun of me for it or told me it was dumb I immediately thought, “okay, bye.” Because as a good friend you RESPECT another person’s values, even if they’re different from your own. They should be able to say, “Hey, I respect that. That’s great for you!” 

4.How do you feel after hanging out with a certain person?

This one is HUGE for me and helps me easily identify who the heck is in my tribe. After hanging out with someone do you feel motivated, inspired, and recharged? OR do you feel exhausted, irritable, and judgmental? Some people’s personalities can really rub off on you so you have to be careful who you surround yourself with. That’s why this one is so important! 

5.Who has been there for you in your failures?

Sure, it’s easy to be friends with people when everything is all rainbows and butterflies BUT what about when it’s not? What about when something awful happens and you have to talk about really uncomfortable things or stuff outside of your wheelhouse of knowledge? Now, that is crucial.

I hope this was helpful and you learned a lot about your friends circle! These tips are great to remember as you go throughout life and meet new people too! Having a “tribe” is so important to your life!

Xoxo,

Emily Avdem

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