Let’s Talk About Confidence. Then Let’s Build It.

I know I talk a lot about body confidence on my blog and my Instagram but lately I have been STRUGGLING with confidence in other areas of my life that have nothing to do with my physical appearance. I think this type of self doubt often gets overlooked because we are ashamed to admit it or it’s just not as easy to talk about without it seeming like you’re fishing for compliments. Why do we all do that? We feel ashamed for voicing our self doubts because we don’t want people to think we are asking for praise or asking for pity. Can’t we just voice our doubts in hopes that we aren’t alone? I’m here to tell you that you aren’t alone. Not even close.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with wondering, am I good enough? Should I even pursue this blog, my YouTube, the Instagram thing? Do people even care what I post? It’s a never-ending flood of thoughts that are self deprecating. I wonder if I should level up in certain areas of my entrepreneurship ventures but talk myself out of it in fear that I will just be wasting money. In fear that I will fail. Why do we constantly talk ourselves out of things that we might succeed at? Why do we hesitate so long before we take that jump into the unknown? Why do we hold onto what’s comfortable so hard that our knuckles become white? It’s crazy how much we allow ourselves to hold ourselves back.

I want you to stop reading this blog for a second and reflect. (I’m sorry I know you didn’t sign up for a lecture or a homework assignment but trust me, do it!) Think about the following things (write them down if you need to, it helps you realize some stuff and slaps you in the face. self reflection is not always a beautiful task.):

  • What are some things you don’t feel confident about right now, personally?
  • What are some skills you don’t feel confident with?
  • What are some opportunities you’ve let pass because you were too afraid or felt insecure or you “might not be good enough”
  • When you’re feeling especially doubtful about yourself, what type of things do you say to yourself?

I think these are some really important questions to SERIOUSLY sit down and think about. Not just sugar coat or tell yourself, this isn’t really for me. No, it is for you and chances are if you really sit down and answer those questions honestly, you’ll realize just how “for you” it is. There is no shame in that. I think we all need a reality check at some point to put us right back into the driver’s seat of our own life.

I know that all of my tips and tricks for self confidence won’t necessarily work for everyone so I asked around and gathered a good chunk of tips for you to reference after you’ve done some self reflection and need a confidence boost!

  • Listen to an empowering song (I like stronger by Kelly Clarkson, Most Girls by Hailee Steinfeld, or anything P!nk!
  • Go for a walk or any exercise
  • Talk to a parent, friend, or loved one
  • Give other people genuine compliments
  • When someone gives you a compliment, accept it!!
  • Read an empowering book (anything Rachel Hollis)
  • Put on an outfit you feel good in, do your hair, and get your makeup on! Strut your stuff.
  • Meditate (focus on positivity and strength using a guided app)
  • Say a mantra repeatedly like “I am capable. I am talented”
  • Work on something you’re really passionate about
  • Do something out of your comfort zone
  • Set a small goal and achieve it

When you read my blog I never want you to find that there’s an overnight fix. There is no overnight fix for confidence. I want you to learn that by Googling “how to be confident” you’ll find multiple articles that tell you you can become confident quick but that’s just not the case. There’s ups and downs and it’s usually not a destination, it’s a journey of learning, reflection, and patience. I hope that this blog post was helpful to you in some way. Whether you realized you weren’t alone, you’re very much the one holding yourself back, or how to cope with those insecure days! If you have some self confidence booster tips comment below!


Emily Avdem

3 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Confidence. Then Let’s Build It.

  1. I think everyone at different times in their life lack confidence. Mindset is so powerful. Love you girl. Keep doing YOU. It looks amazing on you.


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