Something that’s been on my heart a lot lately has been body image. I can’t even say it’s like body positivity because if i’m being honest, i’m not positive about it right now. I’ve been really struggling with looking at my body and having something good to say about it. I look in the mirror and can’t wait to cover it back up with a baggy sweater and comfortable sweatpants. I lay in bed scrolling through people’s pictures where they have captured every perfect angle of their body. I can feel the tears start to fall and then I find myself drowning in a pool of self pity. It’s exhausting.
I thought it was important that I did an honest and raw blog post like this because I think things get really misconstrued from pretty pictures and motivating words. I don’t want people to look at my blog and think, “wow this girl is so confident and never feels bad about herself. How can I be her?” Because guys, I am just like you. I struggle every single day with loving myself. Some days are easier than others but some days feel like a constant battle. I want you to read this blog post and be reminded that you’re not alone in what you’re feeling. I’m right there with you. I want you to get a more personal connection with me and feel like you can come to me with any problems you may have because chances are I have been there or am currently there too.
I’ve hopped on and off workout regimens for the past 5 years. I let the excuses of being too busy or I don’t know how to do it successfully prevent me from working out. I feel shame when I walk into the gym and there are people who have been doing this for years are going about their day. I feel disgusted when I look down and see the pudge from my belly hovering over my waste line and see their roll-less stomachs running on the treadmill. Which is crazy to let comparison completely drown the fact that at least i’m there! At least I am trying. Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we belittle ourselves when we are giving it our best but not where we want to be?
I’ve lived my life for so long using food as a constant source of emotional comfort and can’t seem to get that healthy balance. I don’t use food enough as a source of nutrients and energy. I think if I changed my perspective and mindset towards food I might figure it out! But yeah, my relationship with food has usually always been pretty unhealthy. This unhealthy relationship feeds into my negative body image and constantly makes it worse. But it’s so hard for me to get rid of that emotional crutch cause we’ve been best friends for so long.
I guess what I’m trying to relay in this blog post is that you’re going to go through spurts of being confident and happy with your physical appearance but then you’ll fall into some low points where you can’t stand to look at yourself. You’ll find every single flaw you have and look at it with a magnifying glass but that doesn’t mean you have to be stuck in that place. You aren’t required to stay there. You are encouraged to get yourself back up and find that peak of happiness and confidence you enjoy so much. I’m here to remind you that those people you see on Instagram that you think are always positive and confident, aren’t. They are feeling things that you are too! We are all people with similar struggles. I want you to know that everything in your life is temporary and you have the power to change anything you don’t like. So here’s that push for you to get up and do something to help you change that something. I believe in you 🙂
So remember, everyone feels insecure at some point. Nobody is truly confident every single second of every single day. I promise you that! So, don’t be too hard on yourself. Love yourself and do so a lot more on those hard days. You’ll thank yourself later!