The Habit of Comparison + Judgement

So much of our lives right now consists of posting pictures, updates, and statuses of our lives that are truly just “highlight reels”. It’s so easy to hop on Instagram and start to feel yourself getting more and more insecure about yourself and that’s because you are COMPARING everything about your life to someone else’s highlights. You might be looking through your Instagram when you’re in your sweats, wearing a face mask, and feeling bloated and you’re seeing a ton of girls wearing bikinis rocking it. Obviously, that’s gonna hurt your pride a little bit. But remember, that is their highlight reel and your lowlight reel. In today’s blog post I want to talk about comparison and judgement because I have see quite a bit of it lately. Hope this post helps you be a little kinder to yourself and changes your comparison habits.

Comparing Bodies
So many people I think start with comparing the easiest thing, their physical appearance because it’s the most obvious to see. The deeper things are a little harder to see at a first glance but trust me, those are still compared too! This one just happens right away and more often. The reason I really hope you start comparing your body to someone else’s is because your body is YOURS. Their body is THEIRS. That is what you need to remember the most. It’s not even fair to compare your body to someone else’s because everyone has a completely different shape. Does it make sense to compare the look of a tree to a pear? No, because they are completely different. Your body was made to be completely your own and different from everyone else’s. My suggestion is to start comparing the way your body feels today from yesterday. If your body is feeling sluggish, start drinking more water and eating more veggies! Doing this won’t hurt you and will help you feel your best. Win – win.

Comparing Dreams
Now this one is a little deeper and maybe requires you to know someone in order to start your comparison. But this one also encompasses a lot of judgement because again, everyone’s is so different. We tend to judge things we don’t understand and that isn’t fair either. You have no clue what someone else has been through, why they are passionate about something, or what struggles they’ve had to go through in order to get where they are today. I bet you wouldn’t enjoy it if someone made a judgmental comment about your dreams? So, why do it to someone else? Instead of judging, start SUPPORTING. Tell someone you think what they’re doing is awesome, acknowledge how hard they’re working, or engage in the things they’re doing my commenting, liking, or subscribing. It takes a couple seconds and helps someone succeed in their passions.

Comparing Progress
This one kind of goes along with the dreams topic but I think it’s something a lot of us do and then kind of punish ourselves for. So, say you see someone being a seller for Younique and notice they are making BANK, going on crazy vacations, and buying a ton of things because they are so successful at it. You start to get really bummed because you’ve been a Younique seller for a couple months and you haven’t seen that type of rewards yet and you start wondering what you’re doing wrong, doubting your abilities, and thinking about just giving it up all together. Why? Why do you do that? You’ve been a seller for a couple of months and chances are they’ve been at it for quite some time. There is no reason to compare that. There are also so many other factors that contribute to someone’s progress that are usually very different between two people like family/friend support, time, interactions, and just who has seen the post. Instead of comparing your progress to someone else’s, again, compare it to where you were yesterday. Start trying new things to create more success instead of getting down on yourself. Don’t let the comparison of someone else’s success rob you of yours.

Comparing Materialistic Things
This one is really easy to compare too because you see someone else has all of these expensive clothes, super cute decor, and a nice car but please remember that you don’t actually know if these people are even happy. They may have these “things” but may not have people who love and support them or maybe they’ve had to work so hard for those things they never got to do anything fun. You just truly never know someone’s life and seeing that they have all of these things means nothing.

Comparing Goals
This one is more of a judgmental one but comparison holds a role too! Goals kind of resemble the dreams topic too with how you have no clue why someone has the goals they do so you have no place to judge them. Someone’s goals might be bigger than yours and you have no place to say they can’t do it or they’re biting off more than they can chew. Stop doubting them and start encouraging them. Cheer them on because when you’re trying to reach a difficult goal don’t you want encouragement too? I know I do. Also, don’t judge someone’s goals if you think they’re “silly” or you don’t understand them because everybody has completely different interests, passions, and ideas. Maybe they think your goals are dumb too but that doesn’t mean you guys can’t just agree to disagree and just say, “Hey, that’s not what I would be doing but I’m really glad you’re going for what you want and I support you!” It truly isn’t that hard.

There are so many other ways we compare but if I wrote about them all we would be here all day. I figure these are some pretty big ones and honestly a lot of the tips can be transferred to any type of situation. Just remember that most of the time comparison, jealousy, and judgement doesn’t make you feel good. It makes you bitter, insecure, and stuck. You can’t grow if you are trying to stunt someone else’s growth. Keep this in mind too the next time you are judging someone else’s life, “treat others the way you want to be treated.” Let me know what type of comparisons/judgements you feed into and how you’re going to try and stop that habit!

xoxo,

Emily Elizabeth

 

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