I did a quick Google search on “how to have self-confidence” because I wanted to make sure I was giving you guys tips that aren’t cliche and something you can’t just find on the internet. I sadly realized that so many of the articles that came up were suggesting you can build your self-confidence in five minutes or less and I thought to myself, no. Absolutely, no. I learned long time ago that self-confidence doesn’t happen in five minutes, a day, or a week. Self-confidence takes TIME. But I’m letting you know it can happen, all it takes is some effort, determination, and a lot of self-love.
First of all, I want you to know that I used to be so insecure and sometimes I still am. I would binge eat and then realize, crap, I’m gonna now look worse than I already do. Then, I would stop eating or workout and then find myself sad all over again and comfort myself with more food. The cycle just kept repeating itself and I kept becoming more insecure. I also used to try and find my self worth in guys and things people would say about me but as you can imagine, I was constantly disappointed because other people can’t control my confidence. I do.
So, I started doing intentional things to help build my own confidence and find my self-worth in myself, my actions, and my personality. That way, at the end of the day it doesn’t matter what people say, who likes me, or how many guys I’m talking to. So, here are some of my tips for self-confidence!
Tip 1: Be kind to yourself.
I started noticing how I was talking about myself and I realized most of what I was saying was very negative and judgmental. Would I speak that way about my friends? No way. I find all my friends beautiful so why can’t I think the same about myself? I began to say at least one nice thing about myself each day. Even on the days that I felt like I couldn’t find anything nice to say I made sure I stared in the mirror until I found one. Let me say this though, that nice thing does not have to be physical. Self-confidence comes from loving all parts of you! So notice them and be kind to them.
Tip 2: Stop comparing yourself to others.
Especially in a culture like today I think this one hinders a ton of people’s self-confidence. It’s so easy to see all of these people in pictures and observe that they have absolutely no stretch marks, rolls, or muffin tops. BUT let me tell you something, more than half of those pictures are staged to look like that. They are posing at a perfect angle, positioning their bottoms to cover their extra pudge in the midsection, and maybe even using an app to make some things look smaller. So, please remember that what you are seeing isn’t actually always true. Also, every single person has a complete different body shape. This means that the number on the scale for you can be the same number as someone else’s but you two could look NOTHING alike. This happens because of height, where weight is held, and how someone portrays themselves. It’s just not fair to compare yourself to other people because of the individuality God gave us!
Tip 3: Stray outside your comfort zone.
I found a lot of my insecurities came from the fact that I felt like I couldn’t successfully do things or I was afraid of looking dumb! The more I did things that made me nervous the more confident I became! I am not exactly sure why this one works but it really does! I guess just putting yourself in uncomfortable situations makes you more confident that you can in fact do things that you aren’t familiar with. Usually, you’ll find out that you are good at things you didn’t know of and that is always a confidence booster!
Tip 4: Know your strengths and weaknesses.
Self-confidence comes from understanding yourself and who you are. How can you be confident in yourself if you don’t even really know who you are? You can find these things out by just really paying attention to things people compliment you on, where you’ve found success, or noticing what things you aren’t finding success at. You can also do this by asking people close to you what they think your strengths and weaknesses are. Then, reflect on what you think about those and if you agree or not! Then, try and strengthen those weaknesses but don’t feel ashamed of them. Embrace them and understand that everyone has them! It’s simply all about what you do with them.
Tip 5: Take care of yourself.
One of the best ways to build confidence is finding ways to really care for yourself. This means putting those self-care activities to WORK. Put on a mask, go to the gym, make yourself a yummy & healthy meal, or meditating. Make sure each part of you is balanced and given attention. I’ve found that the more I focus on each part of myself the more I feel happy and balanced which also makes me confident.
Tip 6: Stop finding your confidence in others.
I’ve mentioned this in here but I really want to emphasize the importance of this one. Your self worth does not come from other people. I promise you that. Your self worth does not come from how many guys want you, how many girls want to be you, how many likes you get on your Instagram photo, or how many compliments you get in a day. Your self worth comes from how you see yourself. It comes from how you speak to yourself. So stop looking for that confidence in others and find it in yourself.
Tip 7: Surround yourself with confident, positive, and kind friends.
I’ve also noticed that my self-confidence started gaining when I surrounded myself with friends who were positive and kind to themselves but also to me. They would catch me saying negative things about myself and correct me. It really helped me change my perspective and remind myself to be as kind to myself as I am to others. But also when you’re friends with people who are self-confident you start observing how they speak about themselves and you begin to do it to yourself too!
Now, I truly truly hope these tips help you find your confidence. I believe that every single body type is so beautiful and not one is better than the other. I find beauty in how people treat others, how they speak to themselves, and how they react in certain situations. I think we also need to stop find “beauty” in how someone looks. I think their personality is honestly SO much more important. I love finding more beautiful souls that I like to call my friends.